Mission Statement
The Women’s Running Coaches Collective
exists to
support, unite, inform, inspire, encourage, and empower
women coaches at all levels of our sport
Melissa Hill
Laura Caldwell
Nikki Rafie
Helene Hutchinson
Kathy Mills Parker
Amy Yoder Begley
Robyn McGillis
Charlotte Lettis Richardson
Coaching and Stress
Advice from experienced coaches on how to deal with it
“As track and field and running coaches we deal with a many types of stress in our coaching work. Some of the pressures are about creating the optimum training to allow athletes to compete at their very best. Additionally we worry about injuries and burnout. We deal with overly involved parents, or absent parents. We try to develop well-trained athletes who are confident and competitive. We work with sports psychologists to counsel our athletes to be less nervous and to race to their optimum. But who helps us? Who coaches the coaches to be confident, positive, and relaxed during the season?”
Coaching is a complicated and challenging career, and doing what you love has so many rewards. Each season brings new potential. The possibilities of the athletes and their team, the creation of new and better workouts, the potential of successful racing and the satisfaction of an athlete fulfilling his or her goals is exhilarating.
Years ago when I took an introductory coaching class I vividly recall one of the lecturers warning us about the dangers of coaching and its impact on family life. This coach was recently divorced and he warned us of the downside of coaching. He talked about the long hours that cut into family time, and its strain on marriages and partnerships. I remember being embarrassed for the man. I was a young coach and so it hardly registered. I was ready to begin my seasons of winning! The darker side of coaching was not yet in my sights. What I saw ahead was doing what I loved and knew so well–coaching runners. Nothing could be better.
Many of these coaching dreams have come true. I have worked with successful athletes and teams. I have felt the incredible connection between coach and athlete. I have loved every minute I have spent coaching. But within those experiences there has been a shadow side that has changed me as a coach and a person. It has made me want to look for solutions to help better cope with all that coaching is. As an older coach the relationship I have with coaching has matured. The many facets of coaching are about much more than coaching athletes. In hindsight I would not have changed being a coach, but I would have changed how I approached my coaching responsibilities.
Coaches of professional teams deal with a very different kind of stress having to do with winning and money. Their worth as a coach is based on a win/loss record. Keeping their job means they must win most of the time. Track and field and cross country high school and some college coaches deal with a different kind of stress. Many of the pressures are about creating the best training to allow athletes to compete at their very best. Additionally we worry about injuries and burnout. We deal with overly involved parents, or absent parents. We try to develop well -trained athletes who are confident and competitive. We work with sports psychologists to train our athletes to be less nervous and to race to their optimum. But who helps us? Who coaches the coaches to be confident, positive, and relaxed during the season?
As I prepare for the upcoming cross-country season, I am determined to find solutions to the stress I experience in my work. I want to enjoy the rewards but minimize the pressures. The research about stress in coaching is sparse. Much of it has to do with professional coaches and the pressures of winning and money. Most of the research is about athletes coping with anxiety and stress, and how coaches can help them.
Many of us are former competitors and we bring that competitiveness into our coaching work. To be honest one of the reasons we coach is that unique and strong competitive drive. We worry about doing the right workouts, or doing too much or too little. We stress about athlete injury. We deal with difficult parents and the emotions of our athletes. We worry about reaching our team goals. We hope our athletes will reach their season goals. We can control so little of these worries. Much of it is out of our control.
I sent an email to a group of coaching friends to see if I could ascertain what their stresses were, and how they deal with them. Below are the questions and answers I received. I summarized some of it, but I encourage you to read all of the answers below. It is really good advice and information.
Summary –
– Stay in close contact with your past coaches.
– Create great support systems with other coaches, parents and AD’s.
– Find a mentor.
– Never stop learning about your craft. Read, read, read and talk to other coaches.
– Be open to new ideas.
– Find great assistant coaches and let them use their skills.
– Delegate!
– Prepare, prepare, prepare.
– Believe in preparation. The time and effort you put in will produce something special.
– The better prepared you are, the more you will have confidence in your coaching. This equates to less stress during the season!
– Be confident.
– Believe in yourself and what you are doing.
– Have a philosophy. What do you believe in as a coach?
– Set goals for yourself. Have your staff and your athletes set goals.
– Be really positive on meet day. The athletes pick up on your stress and nervousness.
– Don’t be too hard on yourself.
– Your best is enough.
– Try to unplug at home and be present.
– Take time for yourself.
– Take care of your health. Get your running (or other exercise) in too!
– Slow down.
– Breathe! Be calm.
– Have fun! Coaching is fun!
Question 1 – Do you feel stressed during the track and field or xc season? If so, what are those stresses and how do you deal with them?
Coach #2 (High School Coach)
Whether I was coaching high school or collegiately, I had no more stress during our seasons than I did in the off seasons. In all of my coaching jobs I have been blessed with great support systems whether it was head coaches, fellow coaches or parents volunteering to help. These people assisted me to even out whatever my stress was over the whole year. If some unforeseen issue arrives, I always use my mantra of remaining calm and problem solving. My father was a great role model for this (he helped to develop the stealth bomber—talk about stress!). He found that keeping calm in the face of adversity, whatever it was, gave you clear vision and helped you to be a better problem solver. Watching him definitely influenced my way of dealing with stress, coaching or otherwise!
Coach # 3 (High School Coach)
My biggest stressor during the season is my battle with kids and parents who don’t read the handbook when it comes to our rules and expectations. I am constantly worried that I won’t apply consistent discipline. I also stress about the application of discipline. My biggest struggles have been with overbearing parents who want their child/children to be involved with the team but don’t want to live by team rules.
Coach # 4 (High School Coach)
I feel stress most when a big competition is approaching, and the preparation is mostly complete—I feel anxious about all the things that I cannot control that will come up. No matter how well I as a coach have prepared the athlete, it is time for her or him or them to execute. That makes me nervous.
Coach # 1 (High School Coach)
My greatest stress is working full-time as a teacher with 180 students + coaching. It means I work weekdays from 7 AM – 10 PM with maybe 1-2 hours off for cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen. Then often I have a meet on a Saturday. While I do love coaching, the season is a tiring time for me.
Parents can be a big stress too. For all, I remind myself to stay focused on my overall coaching goals.
Coach # 5 (Club Coach)
I coach roadrunners year round, and yes, I get stressed occasionally. The athletes’ stress and nerves can get to you as a coach and needs to be managed. I also worry and get concerned about how well they’re taking care of themselves (rest, fuel, hydration, etc.) But I have a solid process for organizing the workouts, regular check-ins with all, and honest dialogue with high maintenance athletes.
Coach # 6 (Volunteer High School Coach)
No, I didn’t really feel stressed during the season but I did feel excited for our runners during their races. I acknowledge that I was far removed from the head coach role but I could see the stress that was often involved during big events on our Head Coach, and I tried to offer help her when I could, if it was just listening.
Coach #7 (Volunteer High School Coach)
Being a volunteer coach who is only there a couple days a week, I don’t feel the stresses with practice. It’s actually a relief for me. A way to find something I love. It does cause stress within my family and marriage because of being gone in the evenings and weekends. It has put a lot more on my husband’s plate. But we have had many talks about how much happier I have been because of coaching. He sees it and honors it but it’s still hard. For that reason I work really hard at planning babysitters to give him time. He isn’t one to plan ahead so I schedule babysitters without always asking him. Then he has time, even if its just to go for a Mt. Bike ride or to the record store. Giving him time away from our kids and time for him. Or on weekends encouraging him to golf and do what he loves. Knowing that during this season we won’t see each other as much but we can both find happiness.
Coach # 8 (Club Coach)
I would say the stress results from too many balls in the air. For me, I deal with 200 volunteers and 3 training programs with 2,000+ participants per year. I help the club put on events. I also help organize the Masters Team. I also do media as the “face of the training” for the club.
With the team the stress is from:
– athletes not buying in
– athletes not doing what is expected from the club (volunteering/event/etc) and then their lack of effort gets directed at me
– athletes being injured
– athletes not performing what we think they should
Coach # 9 (High School Coach)
Definitely. (Do you feel stressed during the season?) I think it is part of the game. You put in a lot of work with the kids and you want it to work out for them. They typically equal the amount of work that we as coaches put in so you want a positive experience for them. I deal with them by reflecting back on what we’ve done up to that point and knowing that we’ve taken care of all the little things. As a coach if you believe you put them in the best position to succeed, than that is all that you can ask for.
Coach # 10 (Private High School Coach)
YES…(Do you feel stressed during the season?) All of the details to manage, kids’ emotions, and my family life.
Coach # 11 (Middle School, High School, and Club Coach)
Yes! (Do you feel stressed during the season?)
Making sure the right athletes have the right workouts at the right time.
Making sure athletes are taking in proper nutrition, hydration, and rest. Huge for high school athletes
I have a spreadsheet where I track everything. It gives me a sense of control- as much as I can!
Question 2 – What advice would you give to other coaches in dealing with stress?
Coach # 9 (High School Coach)
Trust your training and what you’ve done up to that point. If you don’t believe in it, how can you expect the kids to believe in it (in your training). Be really positive on meet day regardless of buildup; the kids will feed off of that.
Coach # 2 (High School Coach)
Prepare, prepare, prepare! The best advice I ever got was to spend time learning how to coach (in my case from the 800m on up to the marathon). Read up on the latest research, pick coaches’ brains that you admire, and then mesh it all into how you are going to coach your athletes, whatever level. The better prepared you are, the more you have confidence in your coaching, which equates to less stress during your seasons. The great thing about this is your confidence is reflected in how your athletes perform—if you’re confident, it is contagious with your athletes as well, again, leading to less stress for all involved.
Coach # 10 (Private High School Coach)
I try to take time to myself when I can. I want to be a coach for the rest of my life so I need to have balance. A quiet run by myself, a pedicure, etc.. Anything to give myself a treat and help keep me balanced so I can be the best coach, parent and person I can be.
Coach # 3 (High School Coach)
I wish I could give advice about how to manage the issue that gives me the most stress. I try to unplug at home and just be at home. Sometimes that’s tough. For others who stress about the X’s and O’s my best advice for dealing with those stresses is to adopt a philosophy about running somewhere along these lines: We get better as runners during recovery, not during workouts. It is harder to do wrong with more recovery than it is to do right with less. Err on the side of caution. Erring on the other side can lead to injury, under-performance, and disappointment.
Coach # 5 (Club Coach)
As a coach, you need to be self aware of your own emotional state, project confidence and calm to the team.
Coach # 11 (Middle School, High School, and Club Coach)
Keep monitoring your athletes, as that is all you can do. And remember they are the ones who have to perform. You bring them to competition prepared, and they do the rest. Athletes will sense your stress and take on an unnecessary burden. If coaches can stay relaxed and positive, athletes will be able to perform freely.
Coach # 1 (High School Coach)
I fundamentally want every person to have a sports experience as children and adults. I truly believe in the value of exercise and sports for overall health. I keep focused on that with everything I do. As I see more and more kids focusing on one sport, and more clubs making sports something that is a big expense for families, it keeps me dedicated to my dream of exercise for all. I fear that many of the people who will get the most out of high school sports, are losing access to them.
Coach # 4 (High School Coach)
The pre-competition jitters about having prepared well enough or what might happen on competition day, I just try to breathe and think positively, and believe in the preparation, and that the time and effort will produce something special. (And I like to tell athletes, being nervous and anxious is good energy that can make great things happen…and it means you care!)
As for the stress caused by parents or other significant people to the athlete, I try to minimize contact at the competition and steer athletes toward coaches and teammates for support.
Coach # 8 (Club Coach)
I had not taken care of myself for while. I now know I need to run at least 3 times a week or I don’t feel good mentally or physically. And that is just 3-4 miles easy time.
Coach # 6 (Volunteer High School Coach)
Take good care of yourself so you can handle whatever comes your way. Have competent people that you can talk to and be sure to have the support of the school’s AD. Try to have a core group of parents that will help you when needed. Also, have a good knowledge of the dynamics of some of the potential problems athletes have both in the classroom and at home. This might be of help in a tense personality problem with an athlete.
Coach # 7 (Volunteer High School Coach)
I believe it is important to find your role on the team. Kind of like the athletes finding their role. See if you can identify to yourself how you best support the team and do that to the best of your ability. I am in a situation where I can only coach a couple of days a week. I am not the one who writes the workouts, manages the buses, schedule etc. so why put extra effort into those things when someone else is already doing a great job at it? My role has developed over time and I’ve become better at it because in my head I know how I can best support the team and how I can be the most beneficial. By nature, the athletes now come to me for certain things and other coaches for other things. I believe I’ve relieved some pressure off the head coach by taking my role and running with it. Also by doing this we have become a really great coaching team. And it definitely doesn’t mean I do this in isolation. Communicating my ideas and getting new ideas from peers helps my practice evolve.
The other end of this, is the head coach has trusted me. It wouldn’t work if he wasn’t able to do this. He likes to manage things but he has let me run with it because he sees the benefits. It has to be a two way street. Both head and assistant coaches need to see the roles the coaches play and honor them. He still knows everything I’m doing, we discuss it so he is aware.
Question 3 – What books or articles could you suggest that helped you deal with your emotional strain or pressure in coaching that might be helpful to others?
Coach # 1 (High School Coach)
I stay in close contact with my past coaches. They are people I rely on to help me deal with the strain. I’m super grateful to how these coaches shaped my vision for sports and continue to support me. Also our current coaching team. We have fun together and enjoy working with kids. We have to always keep this at the forefront of what we are doing.
Andre Agassi’s book Open was enlightening for me about how crazy sports can be and how it impacts people. I enjoy the Women’s Running Coaches Collective Newsletter!
Coach # 2 (High School Coach)
I wish I had some magic book or article I used to help me deal with the strain of coaching. Mostly, I watched other coaches, good or bad, and tried to learn from them as much as possible. I don’t know anyone who stepped right into coaching and knows it all—most of the great coaches have years of experience. So find a mentor and be the best observer you can be!
Coach # 11 (Middle School, High School, and Club Coach)
Coach Bob Williams was such a great influence. (Williams Pace Calculator and one of the best middle and distance coaches in the US!)
And I don’t think I’ve read anything in particular. I do use my own competitive experience in coaching. Stay relaxed and focused.
Coach # 3 (High School Coach)
I’m not one for self-help books but I have read the book Mind Gym a few times. It has some good exercises for being mentally prepared for competition. Those same exercises can help a coach, too.
Coach # 4 (High School Coach)
I can’t single out a book or article, though Running with the Buffaloes was quite good. It was about a cross country preseason and season at U of CO, that got in depth with training, coaches, athletes, and many issues that came up in that season. Another great read was, Running with the Legends which was a compilation of interviews with prominent runners of the ‘70’s thru the 90’s, top level distance runner men and women from all over the world, who shared favorite workouts, their race prep and strategies, etc. Both books gave valuable insight into how to prepare for competitions physically and mentally, and both inspired my mindset as a coach, and both books dealt with stressful and difficult situations that come up when one is coaching and competing.
Coach # 5 (Club Coach)
Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz just to keep grounded.
I rely on my personal experiences, insights and learning from other athletes and coaches.
Coach # 8 (Club Coach)
For me, there have been books or apps about taking time for myself. Slowing down and not being so hard on myself. Not so much about coaching.
Coach # 10 (Private High School Coach)
Hmmm…Honestly I have not read any. I wish there were more books written by female coaches balancing similar priorities that I could relate to.
Coach # 9 (High School Coach)
I’m not sure I have any specific books but I would recommend talking to as many coaches as you can. I think what’s helped me to become a better coa
ch is getting in the ear of everyone that I can and asking lots of questions. That’s the easiest way for me to learn.
