How Do Mail Order Brides Work? The Most Detailed Guide

There are different ways to find a life partner these days. Some are lucky enough to meet their soulmate while still in high school or college, while others find what they are looking for when they visit speed dating events. Still, for some men, the solution to this problem is clear: mail order brides are who they need to be happy.

At the same time, mail order marriages are a bit of an uncharted territory for some guys. Mail order brides: how does it work? And is the whole thing even legal? With today’s guide, we hope to answer any questions you may have about these opportunities.

Who Are Mail Order Brides?

People who wonder, “Do mail order brides still exist?” often have only a vague idea about who these women are and how this type of relationship works. So, before we can move on to the nitty-gritty of how mail order brides work, let’s first find out who they are.

According to the definition from Wikipedia, a mail order bride is a female person who lists herself in catalogs in the hopes of finding a husband abroad and moving to his home country for marriage. For a long time, those catalogs only existed in newspapers and print, but now, most women who identify as brides have moved online. With the help of special dating services, they can date foreigners safely from their own homes and only meet in person when they feel absolutely confident they’ve found their ideal match.

There are many reasons why a woman may consider looking for a spouse online, but these are the most common ones:

Dreams and aspirations. Many foreign girls simply dream about being able to live in one of the Western countries. Through the media, they accumulate enough knowledge about that part of the world to be firmly convinced that this is where they need to be. Naturally, moving there to be with the love of their lives is an even more enticing prospect and something they actively pursue.
Romantic views. In addition to having an idealized notion of the Western lifestyle, foreign brides have an equally idealized notion of Western men. Whether from personal experience or through movies and TV shows, women know what they can expect from Western guys: good manners, attractive looks, ambitious nature, and so on. These are all the qualities they want to see in their future spouse.
Negative dating experiences. For many brides online, the decision to look for a partner abroad is the decision influenced by their disappointing relationship experience at home. This experience can range from dating immature men who are afraid of commitment to being victims of domestic violence and abuse from family members. Marriage to a foreigner is viewed as a way to escape that.
Economic factors. It’s no secret that, for the most part, mail order brides come from countries where the economic situation leaves a lot to be desired. Economic challenges usually mean even fewer opportunities for women, which leads to poverty and growing unemployment rates among ladies. Marriage to a foreigner is viewed as a welcome alternative to these economic struggles.
Social factors. Mail order brides come from all around the world, and in each country, the social factors influencing their decisions are unique. In some states, war or high immigration rates mean there are simply fewer eligible men to date. In other countries, women are viewed as second-rate citizens and are relegated to nothing but housework and raising children, and many women are not okay with that at all.

How Do Mail Order Brides Work?

Wondering how to order a mail order bride and what it actually entails to marry a mail order bride? Here are the steps you need to take to end up married to your ideal bride from abroad.

1. Find a Reputable Dating Site

You will need an international dating website that is not only popular in the mail order bride segment, but also has a spotless reputation and does not have any security-related controversies in its track record.

2. Create a Dating Profile

Your dating profile matters more than you think, so don’t treat this step as an afterthought. Make sure your profile portrays you in the best possible light, and pay special attention to the wording (it needs to be coherent and enticing) and photos (clear and well-lit).

3. Look for Suitable Matches

Use all the features offered by the site, whether it’s a simple search or a matching algorithm, to find several women who fit your desired parameters, such as appearance traits, age range, marital status, or tastes in music and movies.

4. Initiate Conversations

Reach out to the women you’ve found. Don’t try too hard because women can always tell when the man is insecure and, therefore, tries to look overly confident. But also, don’t use the same pickup line for several girls because that rarely works.

5. Establish Long-Term Communication

Continue exchanging messages and letters, as well as talking on video, to develop a genuine connection and see if you can truly be together. It’s important to maintain a romantic tone in your communication — otherwise you risk becoming just good friends with the girl.

6. Meet in Person

A crucial step in your developing relationship is meeting in real life, which can happen in about 6 to 12 months of regular communication. This is a special time when you will get to know each other better and decide whether you want to be together forever.

7. Propose Marriage

Most mail order brides are very traditional, so they will expect a traditional proposal. It can happen while you’re visiting her for the first time or sometime later. The important thing is to make sure your decision is fully informed and permanent.

8. Take Care of the Legal Side

In order to bring your bride to your home country and make her your wife, you will need to take some legal steps. In the US, the most popular option is the K-1 visa. Please note that it can take between a year and two to get the visa, so make sure to start the process in advance.

9. Plan Your Wedding

The wedding day is the culmination of the first phase of your relationship. You will need to make all the decisions, from the venue and guest list to the outfit style, jointly, so that your bride can see that you can actually listen to her and respect her opinion.

10. Start Your New Life Together

With the legal concerns taken care of, and with the perfect wedding planned, all that is left to do is establish the perfect life for the two of you and continue making each other happy every day. You will also need to help your wife get a Green Card to make her a US citizen.

When to Consider Getting a Mail Order Bride

Marriage to a foreign bride can be the ideal solution for millions of men around the world. However, there are situations when it works even better. Here is when the idea to look for a mail order bride is exactly what you need:

It’s difficult to find a partner locally. Maybe you’re a busy individual who finds it challenging to date traditionally because it requires a lot of time. Or maybe you get tongue-tied around women in person and perform better when it’s online communication.
You strive for traditional gender roles. Clearly, women in Western countries are no longer satisfied by the traditional gender roles of wives and mothers. If you want to be with a woman who is ready to commit and is not putting off marriage until later in life, a foreign spouse is your best bet.
You have bad past experiences. In case you’ve previously been with women who are overly demanding, afraid of commitment, unwilling to compromise, or unprepared to be in a monogamous, long-term relationship, being with a mail order bride from overseas will be a welcome change.
You are open to cross-cultural relationships. When dating foreign women, you will inevitably face some cultural differences. However, this does not necessarily have to be a bad thing, and sometimes, these cultural differences can actually make your relationship more fulfilling and sincere.
You prefer an age gap in a relationship. It’s a widely known fact that mail order brides tend to be quite young. Even more importantly, they are not opposed to dating and marrying men who are at least ten years older; in fact, this is who they prefer to date and marry.

How to Increase Your Chances of Success in Finding a Bride

After all, the answer to the question “Do mail order brides work?” is a resounding yes. However, it doesn’t mean that you can automatically get your dream bride without doing anything. Here are a few tips for increasing the chances of a successful connection:

Spend time getting to know her. Before you enter a serious relationship, you need to know that you know what your woman is really like, what her hopes and dreams are, and what she wants from a relationship.
Demonstrate your full commitment. Most foreign women won’t tolerate even the very idea of sharing you with another girl, even if it’s something as seemingly innocent as a compliment.
Be respectful of cultural differences. Ask lots of questions about your bride’s cultural background, tastes, and family history, and never make any disrespectful comments or jokes about her culture.
Make sure your ideas about the future match. In order to work out as a couple, you need to be absolutely sure you have the same vision of the future, from when you want to get married to how many kids you want to have.
Take matters into your own hands. Foreign mail order brides expect the man to be the leader in the relationship, so don’t expect too much authority from your woman.

Final Thoughts

So, do mail order brides really work? Yes, all evidence points towards the fact that they do actually work. With so many fantastic foreign women who would be happy to meet you, there is no point in remaining single any longer. Leave all your doubts behind and start the journey that can potentially change your whole life.